So, I've been through a huge ordeal than no one should ever have to go through. And, unfortunately, this is something that probably will never be done.

I lost my baby last Monday. I've been having complications, so I've been in every Monday for 3 weeks for ultrasounds. The first time, we weren't able to see the heartbeat, because it was too early. I was only 5 weeks. So I had to go in again the next Monday. The baby measured at 6 wks 1 dy. And we got the heart beat. That Friday, I started having serious complications and was put on bedrest for the weekend until I could get in Monday for an ultrasound. That was this past Monday. And the baby was still there, but no heart beat. And it still measured between 6 wks 1 dy and 3 dys. It had died sometime the week before. And a miscarriage was inevitable.

It seriously was not even 10 minutes after getting home from the doctor's that I lost the baby. And that's what I've been dealing with all week. I had to go to the ER Wednesday night because the pain was unbearable. I was in crippling pain for over 3 hours straight before finally giving in and having Dusty take me in. I had been avoiding it because I've been trying to avoid surgery, and I thought they'd just decide to do that. But they did a bunch of tests and said that my body is doing the job well on its own, so they gave me a prescription for Vicodin and sent me home. According to my doctor's nurse, it'll all be done by the end of the weekend.. but we'll see.

It's just so hard having seen my baby, been planning, and having that all ripped away so suddenly, and without reason. And this is my second miscarriage. The last one was in November, and that baby was due this week. This baby was due March 7th, so I'm really hoping to avoid another crisis.

My husband and I are getting memorial tattoos for our lost babies.